A Deadly Equation

did u know...

if you mix your ordinary Ribena blackcurrant drink with lukewarm water,

you'll get a sparkling blood-red drink that actually taste very much like blood?

you know, that peculiar iron-y taste that lingers in your tongue after you lick your wounded finger?

ahh~

that's the kind of taste you'll get.

you don't trust me?

try it for yourself =)

how did i get to know this?

well of course i've tried it myself!

(which part of the trying? blood or Ribena + warm water)

hmmm...

i can say BOTH!

i see my confession has given some people the creeps M(^v-v^)M

you would have guessed that i'm showing signs of changing into a vampire eh?

nah~

i'm still waaaaaaaaay too holy to be on the changling list.

plus,

solid food still tempts me a lot!

if ever my diet preference has somehow reveal that there's a need for "liquid" nourishment,

i'll let you know.

or perhaps i shouldn't at all *evil smirk*

but for now,

a glass of lukewarm Ribena drink will keep me happily sated.

world's simplest equation:-

+

=

???????

WTF ^V^

Dead End

too many times...

too many times have i come to the brink of writing inspiration for the heaps of assignments lying so painfully stark on my work table.

i know i have a deadline to catch.

but what if i cannot make it?

judging from the speed of my working style,

i doubt i can produce 'masterpieces' like how i used to...

i'm in paranoia-

these days i question myself a lot...

was it the right choice to be here, right now-

doing something i 'must' do instead of something i 'want' to do...

i know what i'm lack of-

it's passion!

there was a time when writing (any genre) came so natural for me.

but today's not the case anymore...

i struggle for hours in front of my faithful writing companion- my dear old laptop to even come up with an average sentence...

what has become of me?

where can i regain my passion though it's not something of my preference...

sometimes i wonder-

would life be sailing smooth if i chose to go for my desires,

to chase after my dreams that now seemed to require me to wait in hesitation for another year or two.

but it's already too late to make a u-turn.

not that i can't,

but if i do so, hearts will be broken...

and it is not my wish to witness such hurtful heartbreak.

guess i'm stuck with this shit for the next two years...

God please lend me Your wisdom.

'cause it'll be impossible to get things done if i don't learn to rely on You.

You know i'll never settle with an average job,

and yet now i'm having so much doubt in myself.

please restore my confidence-

i want nothing but the best and i know i have the BEST-est friend and it's You, God ^^

thank you for carrying me through the good times and the bad...

and i know this time will be the same too!

Papa~ 'bao bao' (mandarin: carry me~~~in a manja tone, of course ^^)

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

three words, eight letters, so difficult to say.

they're stuck inside of me, they try and stay away.

but this is too important to let them have their way.

i need to do it now, i must do it today.

i am sorry.

i don't mean to put our friendship to the test,

let alone break it.

i've hurt you...

without knowing as i typed the words with quick fingers i wrote things that spoiled your mood for the day.

dear friend, you know i didn't mean what i say.

who else but you know better that i'll never say a single thing bad about you?

now that you refuse to reply my messages...

i'm really sorry...

friend,

when you are upset, i am too!

what more if the reason was me?!

i'm really really sorry.

can you forgive me?

I Want To Take Both Roads!!!

i'm tired of waiting-

waiting for that impossibly possible thing to happen...

so sick of having to decide which path to choose...

why is it that the roads have to diverge each time when important decisions need to be made?

wouldn't it be better if the roads eventually converge at the final destination?

why do different roads bring me to places so extreme from each other?

i don't wanna live for what ifs...

i wanna make every what ifs in my life possible!

but here come limitations, restrictions, constraints, road blocks bla bla bla...

sometimes you know what you WANT to choose,

but you are obliged to choose the one you SHOULD choose...

you get what i mean?

why can't we have both?

why do we need to choose?

does my life mirrors that of a game of chess?

one wrong move and i'm doomed. period.

well, at least let me have a checkmate...

please????

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

The Day I Wept For Humanity

today's a day we should grief for humanity.

look around you...

there are people of twisted mentality lurking all around you...

they put up angelic faces to mask their true demonic nature.

they take pain for pleasure.

they waste their leisure time watching others struggling for the very last breath of air in their lungs.

they love the intoxicating scent and sight of blood splattered all over the place.

asylums aren't enough for them-

they need to be thrown to hell for the cruelty they have taken pleasure on.

perhaps they ARE sent from the evil one to plunder and pillage the very last hope for a better world.

people,

how many times have we made famous a video by cold-blooded animal torturers?

did you enjoy what you've saw?

this afternoon was my first time ever watching a video shot with such gruesome motif-

not of BDSM fetish liking,

but out of curiosity and ignorance...

like the famous saying- 'curiosity kills the cat'

it sure killed the hell out of me!

i was left with a corrupted-ly disturbed mind and a hammer-banging sensation in my head-

since the moment i was done with the video.

cruel bitch! where is your heart?

have you traded it with s*t*n for money, fame and fortune?

you twisted fuck!

i don't feel sorry for the poor bunnies because i know their souls have left their mutilated bodies from your continuous brutal tortures.

i am weeping for humanity instead.

when did man become so inhuman?

where are your sanities?

have you flushed morality down the toilet bowl?

because i'm so fucking sure that your brains are even more filthy than whatever that is dwelling in the sewage system!

why has it become so easy to take one's life even if that's of a beast?

that's counted as a life too, isn't it?

you think you'll gain popularity by acting pretty while you crushed and trampled the frail bodies of the poor bunnies?

yes, you ARE popular now-

you are popularly known in God's eyes for the gruesome and unforgivable sins you have committed!

and you know what?

HE will let you taste the fruit you've planted the day you meet the grim reaper.

you just wait and see the day your body is being stomp, trampled and crushed like a mangled rug...

and your torture will be for ETERNITY!

St. Valentine's Story

Let me introduce myself. My name is Valentine. I lived in Rome during the third century. That was long, long ago! At that time, Rome was ruled by an emperor named Claudius. I didn't like Emperor Claudius, and I wasn't the only one! A lot of people shared my feelings.
Claudius wanted to have a big army. He expected men to volunteer to join. Many men just did not want to fight in wars. They did not want to leave their wives and families. As you might have guessed, not many men signed up. This made Claudius furious. So what happened? He had a crazy idea. He thought that if men were not married, they would not mind joining the army. So Claudius decided not to allow any more marriages. Young people thought his new law was cruel. I thought it was preposterous! I certainly wasn't going to support that law!
Did I mention that I was a priest? One of my favorite activities was to marry couples. Even after Emperor Claudius passed his law, I kept on performing marriage ceremonies -- secretly, of course. It was really quite exciting. Imagine a small candlelit room with only the bride and groom and myself. We would whisper the words of the ceremony, listening all the while for the steps of soldiers.
One night, we did hear footsteps. It was scary! Thank goodness the couple I was marrying escaped in time. I was caught. (Not quite as light on my feet as I used to be, I guess.) I was thrown in jail and told that my punishment was death.
I tried to stay cheerful. And do you know what? Wonderful things happened. Many young people came to the jail to visit me. They threw flowers and notes up to my window. They wanted me to know that they, too, believed in love.
One of these young people was the daughter of the prison guard. Her father allowed her to visit me in the cell. Sometimes we would sit and talk for hours. She helped me to keep my spirits up. She agreed that I did the right thing by ignoring the Emperor and going ahead with the secret marriages. On the day I was to die, I left my friend a little note thanking her for her friendship and loyalty. I signed it, "Love from your Valentine."
I believe that note started the custom of exchanging love messages on Valentine's Day. It was written on the day I died, February 14, 269 A.D. Now, every year on this day, people remember. But most importantly, they think about love and friendship. And when they think of Emperor Claudius, they remember how he tried to stand in the way of love, and they laugh -- because they know that love can't be beaten!

It doesn't matter if you are alone on Valentine's Day...

But you are in grave danger if you feel lonely.

It's a matter a choice, people ^^

~Happy St. Valentine's Day~

Helluva Lucky

i recall my wish list for last Christmas...

they were impossible dreams at first sight.

well at least they were seem that way to me =P

The 12 Things I want for Christmas 2010 were:-

1. black leather laced up platform boots

2. black leather biker jacket

3. black leather pants

4. restyle my boring hair (includes extremely edgy cuts and bleaching it blonde =D)

5. stash up my make up collection

7. new cellphone (Galaxy 5, Vivaz Pro or Experia Mini Pro)

8. revamp my laptop

9. attend Adam's Glamnation tour concert

10. get a job with a monthly income of approximately RM1800

11. live at anywhere but my own house in Melaka

12. find someone 'special' for good (peer & parent pressure la...what to do?)

i must say i'm one helluva lucky gal!

you see, of all the 12 items i've wished for, half of them were already realized!

they're no longer dreams that goes 'pooof' the moment i open my eyes in the morning.

in fact,

all of them are lying comfortably in my wardrobe right now ^V^

God is good to me!

the first dream that came true was to live AWAY from home.

conflicts, frictions... these crap happens when two people live too long together in the same space, what more when my home was so tiny...

mum i missed you every moment i'm away from you

but at the same time,

thank you for letting loose the kite so it can soar high on it's own again =)

next up was my black leather jacket-

it was everything that i wanted of a black leather biker jacket! (faux leather though =P)

my black leather platform boots were not that of what i've imagined it to be.

i wanted something like this, initially...

but after having tried walking on these and also serious considerations on practicality...

i ended up with something like this instead...

no complains at all!

these babies were super comfortable to walk with!

most important of all, they "elevated" my vertically-challenged body and "elongated" my lobak legs! SUPER SEXXXY!

maybe this Christmas i'll wish for boots like these for a change hehe...

p/s: Pretty Kitty Tommy Joe wears these babies too ^^

actually i didn't wish for a pair of black leather pants at all because i know how uncomfortable it'll be to move in those skimpy, skin-hugging stuff.

but then...

Nichii made my dreams come true!

For RM79, i got myself a pair of shimmering black jeans that looks and feels like leather pants!

and they told me i look like a star when i wore all those black babies at the same time! lol

i'm flattered teehee =P

i do not deny the fact that my love for black AND leather stuffs are all thanks to my adoration on Adam Lambert and Tommy Joe Ratliff!

they've been such great inspiration to my latest fashion sense lately.

and people actually noticed this resemblance \(^V^)/

i heard someone called me Rocker Girl~ hey hey i LOVE it! lolz =3

got a hair cut before Chinese New Year and i know it's waaaaaay too far from my concept of an edgy hair cut!

i wanted Tommy's hair!

if not...this will do just fine!

sadly, i ended up with the world's most boring hair cut (no photos to show you how pathetically 'not cool' i was:[ )

but i dyed my hair in the shade of burgandy brown two nights ago and my image took a whole new twist!

it was just the thing i needed to 'zing' up that boring look i had! hehe =)

though the color was no where near blonde but at least this will keep me sated for a long time ^^

my cosmetic pouch is gaining weight fast!

it started to have cellulite bulge here and there =P

girls and their make up! that's just so true on me ^^

can't seem to get my hands off black eyeliners, especially the glitter ones! heyhey~~

i don't mind at all investing in a larger cosmetic pouch *evil laugh*

i'm almost there!!!

just wait till i have a stable job and income, i'll buy the whole Etude House, The Face Shop and Skin Food for my own! MUAHAHAHA!!!

bought embellishment stickers to adorn my 5 year old laptop on the 4th day of CNY.

the stickers were in the shade of shimmering bronze with owls and gothic-looking creepers!

just the thing i love!

it would have been perfect if the stickers were black in shade ^^

then again, i'm satisfied for what i have now and i've got my darlin' Wendy to thank ^^

there you go...

the 6 things from my wish list- came true within the timeline of 2 months!

i know you're having a jaw-drop now teehee (^U^)V

as for the other 6 remaining items on my wish list...

sigh~

they are not TOTALLY impossible...

i believe...

it's just a matter of time and financial stability.

i know i WILL get it someday!

Jo always gets what she wants ^^

p/s: all pictures are taken from various sources of the internet. i'm a poor student, deprived from advanced techno-gadgets; a camera for instance =P if you wanna have a peek on my dreams that came true, just pay me a visit! always welcome you with open arms =D

Mad TV - McDonalds (Fat ass it)

Mad TV Gay Gangster Fight

LMAO ^^

Vamps- Devil Side

'Corkscrew' will offer something like this ^^

Adam Lambert Parody

how dare you mother fuckers do this to my darling? @#$%^&*?!

but seriously...

it's hilarious! =P

I Hate St. Valentine's Day

bloody hell

this is the time when the world around me make me look so small...

so insignificant...

so starkly naked from the norms of the society.

yes, i HATE Valentine's Day.

the green eye monster's creeping in my nerves,

i'm having a hangover thanks to doses of bitter jealously injected into my veins...

i stand alone in the streets filled with couples holding hands, warm by each other's embrace, melted by soft kisses, love fortress strengthen with new vows and promises.

and i am not part of that event...

how sad

how pathetic

how nerve-breaking it is to me!

i have no problems with people who are already in a relationship! bless you and your partner, long live happiness!

the only person that ticks me off is myself.

not that i'm angry because of my lack of capability of finding true love,

but

the stupidity of an arrogant b*tch that allows her encounters with true love brush pass her shoulders...

yes i HATE St. Valentine's Day

and

i've only got myself to blame...

random~

i can't close my eyes

you're the reason why

every night i cry

like i've lost my mind

crazy for you boy

is what you've done to me

dump me like a broken toy

shattered pieces are what made of me

i can never be free

from this insanity

costing my dignity

turning me to something i'm not suppose to be

hush don't say a word

'cause all you do is hurt

i know you fake our love

so stop saying i'm all of the above

forget your kisses

erase your embrace

let go off these memories

bury them deep

never to be touched by light

only left alone to die

need not to grief

'cause i've done it already

Another Moment Spent Thinking Of You

why do i have to live to see you run away from me all the time?

what's your intention?

what do you want with my life?

you keep me hanging on yet never show signs of interest.

do you know that i stop breathing whenever you ditch our conversation just like that?

who am i to you?

am i the one you think of every night before you close your eyes?

or am i just another girl passing by?

can't you see you've driven me so crazy i have to write about you each time i cry?

why is it you need to be the reason behind my tears?

you'll never notice my tears...

you've never noticed me from the start.

so what am i hoping for actually?

i don't know...

because you've never show me your feelings,

not even a slight peek into your world.

you slammed the door tight before my face...

like i can never fit into your expectations.

i know i'm not the one you want...

but damnit!

you're sure hell are the one i've been foolishly falling in love with.

and you just stomp all over my broken heart...

left me bleeding...

blood gushing out from open wounds...

a see vultures circling the dark skies-

if this the end?

is this OUR end?

I Want You

i wanna sink my teeth in you...

drink in your essence-

let it fill my veins till i'm drunk in nothing but you.

i'll lick your cream till the very last drop,

yes, you'll taste so sweet just like a dream

your scent is so empowering every time i draw air into my nostril

i'm bewitched by your allure...

i want you now!

what? you dirty-minded people!!! *smirk*

Cross Roads =(

how does it feel having fear and anticipation intertwined?

the frantic heartbeat- separated by a fine line of mixed emotions...

one second you are want to go for it, the next second you just wanna get outta the game.

this feeling sucks!

some people had their life dictated by another individual and they fought hard for freedom, let's just say i'm the opposite kind.

i would rather let my life be decided by someone than having to do the deciding on my own...

yes,

i don't mind living a life pre-planned as long as it's reasonably comfortable.

no complains!!!

but tis' not something i get to CHOOSE!

again, it involves decisions and it's be a pain in the ass lately.

i wanna get the hell outta that fucking place, precisely, that person.

yet...

dammit! it's so hard to find the courage to tell him to go fuck himself, in a polite way of course!

the right time, the right place, the right mood etc

all these factors to consider and it ticks me off!!!

i just wanna choose a road that will lead to to happiness.

MY happiness!!!

then again, happiness tends to come with a hefty price.

can i afford it?