The First Meeting in Ages; The Last Farewell for a Lifetime

This week will be a rather surprising week for me; or so, the Sunday horoscope column predicted. Someone whom I haven't met in ages will reappear and reveal shocking news!

I'm not a 'surprise' person, you see.

My friends address Geminis like me as out-going, psychopathic dual-personality creatures. I may be fun to be with, loves cracking kinky jokes, enjoys inflicting pain on people for my own craving satisfaction (i.e. picking grey hairs at one time for my mum MUAHAHAHA ~evil laugh~). And the fact that I am of dual-personality, one must be praying hard that I'm wearing my 'happy' personality if ever they wanna give me a surprise.

Because I suffer from a faint-heart...

And gawd~ so the constellations were true...

He texted me, out of the blue, on Sunday night. He spoke of his return to his hometown and the new job that awaits him there. He sounded happy.

Part of me was happy for him. He was a family man after all. Not that he was already married; it's just that he was very much attached to his mum.

Yet…

A bigger part of me felt lost. He was going to go… and I never had the chance to apologize for the pain that I’ve inflicted on the both of us…

I’m going to meet him tomorrow. The first in years, but definitely the last for the rest of our lives. It’s going to be a sad parting, I believe…

Perhaps this is a better way to stop myself from further blaming myself for the love I could never embrace…

Mourning Mondays~

I hate Mondays.

Serious, I swear to God I never had so much hatred towards Monday before this! Monday blues never, I mean NEVER occured to me until now...

Monday,

A perfect day to turn my lovely voice into disaster!!!

How so? I have to talk right in front of say erm 100 'berng'-looking kiddos for 8 hours. Imagine that! It's even worst than scream your pleasure during sex!

Lecturing drains energy! And gawd~ I'm even thinking of making this as my lifetime career OMG!!!

Hmmm...perhaps husky voice turns men on more, I guess *wink*

~~~~~@ Raunchy Conversation @~~~~~

Last night; like my usual Thursday nights, I was seen hanging out with my girl friends at Old Town Malim. Everything was fine. Except that one of my girls brought a friend.

No. No. Don't get me wrong. I'm totally fine with adding new friends into my network. This new girl is nice, I mean she's a really decent girl. So decent that I felt like a pervert seen sitting on the same table as her. Hmph~

How perverted? You asked. Well, you see we were doing our usual girl-talk then it's extremely common for us to line our conversation with 'naughty' language. I guess my choice of words shocked the soul out of this girl's life, so much so she called for her dad for a lift and dash out of the cafe like the Celcom broadband rocket!!!

Erm......wow~~~

Didn't know I have such effect on humans...

I'm terribly sorry for offending her but I'm not going to apologize for being who I am. I mean it's a norm among me and my gang to speak like that. We all know that the content of our conversation are only restricted solely for entertainment purposes, casual talk. And it was by no means that I want to hurt her feelings... Not in aeons!

Guess I can only mingle among people of my kind...The naughty naughty ones^^

Then again, this is how I behave. I'm a good girl gone bad~ and I don't give a sh*t to what others has to say about me.

Aiyo~ Convo...

Been rather disturbed with a load of thoughts in mind, lately...

Money. Convocation. Money and money ~sigh~

Which F*cker started with the idea of paying fees for convocation?
It seems like we are paying money to "BUY" ourselves that flimsy sheet of high quality paper with nicely printed words and the signature of a VERY VERY important person to officially declare that we have legally graduate from whichever educational institution...(fuh~ can someone pass me a glass of water? Hee...)

Guess it's worth the RM100 paid to be called a degree graduate?!!

And how come a simple (though crucial) ceremony of a convocation has been so damn commercialized that even a tiny bouquet of flowers plus a teddy bear or two cost a damn hole in our pockets? Everyone seem to find every sneaky way to grab hold of some ca$h :S

There and then my mum's been worrying about my attire for D-day. Kebaya with agonizing and hard-to-walk batik skirt or formal shirt with slacks? Someone choose for me can ah? I'm starting to develop migraines like psy-duck in Pokemon... psyyaiyai~~~

Anyhow, I do look forward to 13th October 2010. The day I can lift my head up high for a very solid reason without being sneered as 'hidung tinggi' and throw my mortar board into the skies with pride for this day will be the best day of my life :)

Speechless

1 teaspoon of disappointment
2 tablespoons of regret
10 ounces of angst
Cups of arguments
Jugs of tears (depends on your liking)
A pinch of hope...

That's my special brew for a perfect broken heart that left me speechless...


"I can’t believe how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyes
He’s gonna get you and after he’s through
There’s gonna be no love left to rye

And I know that it’s complicated
But I’m a loser in love
So baby raise a glass to mend
All the broken hearts
Of all my wrecked up friends

I’ll never talk again
Oh boy you’ve left me speechless
You’ve left me speechless so speechless"

What am I doing here?

Woke up at 6:30am (as usual...VERY reluctant, sigh...)then head for work.

The roads were exceptionally quiet and empty, thanks to the school holidays and Raya. Excellent condition to show off my fast-n-furiously dangerous driving skills (*wink) but kept me wondering why I was not snuggling in bed like what my other colleagues are doing right now. ~DEEP sigh~

It didn't help at all when I was the first to arrive at my office. Dang! No keys. The chilling breeze of the early mornings left me shuttering-cold by the time my colleagues found me. I pinched my nose. Lucky it didn't came off. No frostbite! Hehe..

The office was quiet, except for a faint and rather eerie wave of Raya oldies from the ancient radio across the room.(Though it melodramatic tunes were devastatingly tarnished by my male colleagues singing UGHH~) Here I am, FB-ing and checking out wacky parody videos posted by "The Wang and Only"^^ I even have time to revisit my old FB games which I have long abandoned since the beginning of year 2010. (You can guess how much free time I have XP)

One by one, my colleagues sneak away from the office (I doubt they will return until 4:30pm). Guess I am stuck in this office for the rest of my beautiful Wednesday...

tik tok tik tok...

Can't wait for 4:30pm

Can I steal bone (curi tulang) too?

wasted time???

it's been awhile...hmm...maybe not 'a while' i guess...
rainy days like this remind me of you...(i swear this is an involuntary reaction)
your voice, your laughter and your ever so assuring embrace...
seems like it was just yesterday that we come to know each other...
ironically...
it's been 9-fucking months since i walked away...
away from you...
away from your life...
away from everything.
no it's never easy to deal with the pain
neither is it difficult to keep myself from remembering you...
memories played in my mind each day like a movie that has no end...
haunting...
intimidating...
suffocating...
yet, why do i sit here reminiscing times that was lost
and can never be revisit?
i miss you (i guess?)