the definition of family may be seemingly objective to many but very much subjective to me in person.
the whole concept of family, to me, lies between the ends of sheer sincerity and hypocricity.
it so happen that mine are a bunch of shameless hypocrites.
i'm not afraid to admit that i only see my mum and eldest uncle as FAMILY.
for the other characters that so happen to land in my "family tree", well, they are but invisible apparations, playing no significant role in my life yet their existence is annoyingly irritating me.
i know i sounded selfish by claiming such statement.
call me whatever you want. i don't give a shit.
because what i'm doing is merely a teeny fraction of the damage these fuckers had inflicted upon me; intentionally or unintentionally.
i don't know whether to laugh it off or just be completely distrurbed by the fact that these so-called "family members" are not behaving like the ones you usually see in role model families.
it's not that i am placing too much expectations on them. in fact, i don't give a fuck on how they wanna live their lives.
all i'm asking for is that these nosy bunch of gossip-thristy bastards and bitches will keep their hands OFF my life.
stop shitting around trying to gain control over my life when you acted no less than a perfect stranger when we were in need for help.
you don't call each other "family" when you only come visiting once a year during Chinese New Year. your blant "how do you do-s" just pisses me off.
oh, and enough of your forsaken attempts to compare my performance in education with your children. just who the fuck you think you are to criticize the career path i chose for myself?
and you! yes, you! Son of a so-called Datuk. the amount of disrespect you've shown towards mum and i by refusing to enter our house till last Chinese New Year after knowing that i'm a first class student is unforgivable. don't you dare set foot in my house again you filty son of bitch!
so what if i never care to pick up your call? why, in the first place, should i answer a stranger's call? so you're trying to re-establish the "elder" status huh? well, you can go fuck the wall if you think i'll listen to your damned instructions! i was kind enough not to slam the receiver at you so don't you dare feel high and mighty! you know, i might as well delete your number from my contact list and that's what i'll do right now!
and specially to the old hag next door, you just wait and see. that sour pout face to show to mum each day, you think it's a sign of "authoritativeness" huh? everything's gonna come back to you soon. you'll get what you've sowed.
the other maggots who claimed to be part of my family...you are nothing, NOTHING to me. you are worst than strangers so please i beg you, PLEASE don't take the trouble to visit us annually. if it's such a pain in the ass for you to travel all the way from your "majestic palaces" to my "flithy peasant cottage", then do stay away from us! go mud-rolling in your swine swarmp, eat grapes served on silver platters, listen to high class baraoque music. do whatever pigs do and just stay away from our lives! it's not easy dealing with so many trampling pigs all over our house especially during Chinese New Year. Retreat to your swine house.
as for you... you made me. without you, i might not exist at all. but then again, your existence doesn't seem significant to me at all. we've gotten used to the feeling of carrying on with life without you even during the time when you were still alive. now that you are gone for good, it doesn't seem to change the pattern of our lives. you're existence will be remembered but definitely not missed.
you might find my remarks cruel and crude but that's how ugly circumstances shaped me to be the harsh and cold person i am in this post.
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