its been awhile...
started working on 4th of April and the first month was like standing on shaky grounds- full of uncertainties, fears, doubts, depression...
it's almost the end of the second month working in this alien land and conditions started to improve.
of course every now and then i'm still startled by sudden assignments and deployments but at least they've shown no signs of getting rid of me like how they used to in the first month.
in fact, life's been kinda enjoyable...busy during the weekdays and laid back weekends (still in denial in terms of my thesis-completion though =P)
really learned a lot ever since i started working. kicked off really uncomfortably especially when it comes to replying emails with a certain degree of formality. cc here bcc there...wtf
finally started teaching on 9th May.
the kids were overly-daring to speak up during discussion.
sometime i wish could shove my heels into their mouths to shut 'em up especially when the issues they raise have high chances of causing me my job or stir up a nation-wide riot.
regardless their impulsive, laser-mouthed nature, i am still vowed to teach them with all i have...keeping my fingers crossed in hope they'll behave in every lesson LOL
for a new rookie like me, God has been treating me really well. even got the chance to attend some sort of a social party kinda dinner...working here certainly opened my eyes to the world =)
new life, new home, new friends... that's what i'm trying my best to adapt to currently.
however, one thing that has been robbed from me since i started work is TIME... i really need more time for all the work that are accumulating...
sigh~
a hefty price to pay in return for $ =.=
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Working- This Time is for REAL
it's been quite some time since i went M.I.A.
folks, i wanna apologize for that...
not that i've lost interest in blurting out my ups and downs through blogging,
it's just the fact that i don't have enough time!
started working as a junior lecturer on 4th of April and it has been quite challenging and i would say nerve-breaking at times.
working life is so unpredictable!
especially the people you are working with.
just few days ago i got my first taste of serious office politics @ backstabbing @ bitching.
it's not like i've never experienced it before...
but this time,
tastes like shit!
i really miss the days when i proudly call myself a full-time professional student.
nothing to worry about except for assignment deadlines and exams.
now that i'm working AND studying at the same time,
shit doubles.
worst thing is-
i can NEVER trust anyone.
everyone has their own agendas and they are good at putting up poker faces.
and i can't just make enemies as easily as what i usually and will always do during my degree years because who knows i might have to work with these mother fuckers in the future.
it sucks to be the rookie; the newbie simply because i can never make myself heard.
gone are the days where i can shove the I-DON'T-GIVE-A-FUCK attitude to the people and the things that i dislike.
and it's not helping when my workplace is so damn faraway from civilization.
i miss my friends who don't judge me merely after few days of knowing me.
i miss the fact that civilization was just a 10 minutes drive from where i used to live. (now i need drive at least 30 minutes depending on the traffic load)
i having all the time in the world to fully concentrate on my studies and play equally as hard too.
it seems like i've become a little mellow since the day i started working.
i'm no longer so much like that of my usual self...
i talk less (bad sign)
i skip dinner, not even a sip of milo. (bad sign)
in fact, i'm too tired to feel hungry after 9 hours at work. (bad sign)
what is happening to me?
i feel loneliness more intense lately...
it's just so difficult to adjust to a new life with faces, places and culture so alien to mine...
peeps, just a little piece of advice to ya-
embrace every second whilst you're still known as a full-time student.
appreciate your uni buddies especially because when comes to circumstances like what i'm going through now,
they'll be the ones that you'll miss the most.
the money factor is a great motivation to strip off the student title.
but the best days of your lives will always be the times you call yourself a university student.
this is me speaking through experience.
folks, i wanna apologize for that...
not that i've lost interest in blurting out my ups and downs through blogging,
it's just the fact that i don't have enough time!
started working as a junior lecturer on 4th of April and it has been quite challenging and i would say nerve-breaking at times.
working life is so unpredictable!
especially the people you are working with.
just few days ago i got my first taste of serious office politics @ backstabbing @ bitching.
it's not like i've never experienced it before...
but this time,
tastes like shit!
i really miss the days when i proudly call myself a full-time professional student.
nothing to worry about except for assignment deadlines and exams.
now that i'm working AND studying at the same time,
shit doubles.
worst thing is-
i can NEVER trust anyone.
everyone has their own agendas and they are good at putting up poker faces.
and i can't just make enemies as easily as what i usually and will always do during my degree years because who knows i might have to work with these mother fuckers in the future.
it sucks to be the rookie; the newbie simply because i can never make myself heard.
gone are the days where i can shove the I-DON'T-GIVE-A-FUCK attitude to the people and the things that i dislike.
and it's not helping when my workplace is so damn faraway from civilization.
i miss my friends who don't judge me merely after few days of knowing me.
i miss the fact that civilization was just a 10 minutes drive from where i used to live. (now i need drive at least 30 minutes depending on the traffic load)
i having all the time in the world to fully concentrate on my studies and play equally as hard too.
it seems like i've become a little mellow since the day i started working.
i'm no longer so much like that of my usual self...
i talk less (bad sign)
i skip dinner, not even a sip of milo. (bad sign)
in fact, i'm too tired to feel hungry after 9 hours at work. (bad sign)
what is happening to me?
i feel loneliness more intense lately...
it's just so difficult to adjust to a new life with faces, places and culture so alien to mine...
peeps, just a little piece of advice to ya-
embrace every second whilst you're still known as a full-time student.
appreciate your uni buddies especially because when comes to circumstances like what i'm going through now,
they'll be the ones that you'll miss the most.
the money factor is a great motivation to strip off the student title.
but the best days of your lives will always be the times you call yourself a university student.
this is me speaking through experience.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Prayer During The End Times
i apologize for being extra mellow these few days.
not without reasons though...
so many things had happened and are still happening especially the catastrophe in Japan...
left me wondering-
how much time do we ACTUALLY have to walk on the surface of this world?
Earth is breaking...slowly falling, shattering into fine dust...
i anticipate every second that draws the hour nearer and nearer
and each time disasters like this happen,
a sure feeling just tells me that the end is drawing near.
it's never easy to accept this fact though I believe it will eventually come.
part of it is because there are so many things in life that i have yet to experience, to do, to encounter, to enjoy, to grief...
i'm feeling a choking lump in my throat and watery eyes while i'm writing this.
the hour is creeping in rapidly, silently, like that of a phantom...
yes i am scared.
i tremble with the mere thoughts of having to live to see the world fall apart.
i promise not to blame if you believe that Armageddon will remain a mere fantasy scene in the movies...
but judging from the frequencies of the occurance of natural disasters and conflicts among nations...
mankind WILL be put to test soon.
soon, but don't know when the time is.
and when the darkest hours fall upon mankind,
cries of sufferings,
mourns over dead family members,
pleas for mercy and forgiveness
will be heard- day and night.
but i believe the voices that He wants to hear when He decides to some and redeem his Kingdom would be the restless prayers of His people.
but we need not wait until that day to start praying.
pray for the nations who have yet to come to know Him,
pray for repentance and redemption,
pray for salvation,
in fact,
let Him know His people are waiting for Him.
let our prayers pierce the Heaven and reach His ears.
Lord,
i maybe shaking in fear knowing that the days will not be easy when You decide to redeem this world,
but let me be steadfast in my faith and love in You till the day You come again.
not without reasons though...
so many things had happened and are still happening especially the catastrophe in Japan...
left me wondering-
how much time do we ACTUALLY have to walk on the surface of this world?
Earth is breaking...slowly falling, shattering into fine dust...
i anticipate every second that draws the hour nearer and nearer
and each time disasters like this happen,
a sure feeling just tells me that the end is drawing near.
it's never easy to accept this fact though I believe it will eventually come.
part of it is because there are so many things in life that i have yet to experience, to do, to encounter, to enjoy, to grief...
i'm feeling a choking lump in my throat and watery eyes while i'm writing this.
the hour is creeping in rapidly, silently, like that of a phantom...
yes i am scared.
i tremble with the mere thoughts of having to live to see the world fall apart.
i promise not to blame if you believe that Armageddon will remain a mere fantasy scene in the movies...
but judging from the frequencies of the occurance of natural disasters and conflicts among nations...
mankind WILL be put to test soon.
soon, but don't know when the time is.
and when the darkest hours fall upon mankind,
cries of sufferings,
mourns over dead family members,
pleas for mercy and forgiveness
will be heard- day and night.
but i believe the voices that He wants to hear when He decides to some and redeem his Kingdom would be the restless prayers of His people.
but we need not wait until that day to start praying.
pray for the nations who have yet to come to know Him,
pray for repentance and redemption,
pray for salvation,
in fact,
let Him know His people are waiting for Him.
let our prayers pierce the Heaven and reach His ears.
Lord,
i maybe shaking in fear knowing that the days will not be easy when You decide to redeem this world,
but let me be steadfast in my faith and love in You till the day You come again.
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